Boner Machine

by Solarbear

supported by
Metal Mikey Noir
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Metal Mikey Noir ERIC IS ON IT! SOLARBEAR IS ON IT! ...Jeez I need to calm down. F**** IT! So good!
Lost Rabbit
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Lost Rabbit I found Solarbear's stuff by chance, and upon giving it a listen, I've become ecstatic about his music as another chiptune artist to follow. Nice variety of styles, rhythms and sounds going on in just about each track, all with a somewhat unusual, yet interesting name. The screaming on a few tracks was a bit jarring at times (the Boner Machine track I just can't get used to...), but I got over it eventually. [Shrug] Overall, great stuff! Can't wait to hopefully hear more in the future! Favorite track: The Ballad of El Gohque.
Ami thumbnail
Ami Oh you wanted a simple tempo to dance to? FUCK YOU, DIE LISTENING TO THIS AND REANIMATE YOUR DANCING CORPSE WITH IT AT THE SAME TIME Favorite track: Comemierdas.
Kasey Caldwell
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Kasey Caldwell totally weird and crazy. something to rile you up Favorite track: The Ballad of El Gohque.
Sam Sher
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Sam Sher This album is so good that Solarbear's newb LSDJ trix made me buy Boner Machine as a single instead of buying the album. Solarbear as you all may know killed mecha hitler in the 17th galaxy war and ate shit. 11/4 would eat again. Solarbear also sux btw Favorite track: Comemierdas.
frank angotti is dead
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frank angotti is dead YOUR EXCITED?!?!
FEEL THESE NIPPLES!! Favorite track: The Ballad of El Gohque.
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Physical CD of Boner Machine
    Cover art by Emperpep
    Back Cover art by Ohhainaifu

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Solarbear has tooled and died his melodic phalli into a spread-eagled master class of bulging proportions.
This boner machine is set to kill. It will not stop until every last drop of your will is drained. Euphemisms and inuendos.

Turn it up and rip the knob off.

~Arnie Holder (Datathrash)

Mastered by Grant Henry


released September 6, 2014

Special guest appearances by:

Jacob Cooke (Bad Lag Bedlam)
RainbowDragonEyes (El Gohqué)
Hype Squad (Boner Machine)
Mr Wimmer (Sleaze Grater)
Seth Twardy (Comemierdas)




Solarbear Lexington, Kentucky

Butt Ass Fart Boompa-chicka-wakka!
Duck a fuck a tonka trucka!

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Track Name: The Ballad of El Gohque
Lightning strikes the very tombstone
on the ground where El Gohque lay.
Thoughts of vengeance, years of hate,
propels him up from his ancient grave.
Neither sinners, nor criminals are safe from his righteousness.
He quickly drags them down to hell
to miry pits of blood and piss.

Over rooftops, underground
no place is safe from his violent hand
one last predator he must put down
to bring justice back to the land.

Tracks the crime lord to his home,
he fills El Gohque full of lead
but he cannot, nor can you
kill that which refuses to be dead.

Severs the head, bloody justice
so be warned and tell all your friends
no evil deed goes unpunished
El Gohque rides again.
Track Name: Boner Machine
Don't you want to sailing?
Sailing along.
Maybe bareback riding?
16 furlongs.
Set adrift in the ocean
We'll be nice and wet.
No way to tell who'll come first
So place your bets.

Don't you want to go with me?
Around the back.
A clothes-optional picnic
What's in that sack?
Odori-don, oh!
That's quite a treat.
Only enough for me though,
What're you to eat?

Writhing along.
All your orificia,
plugged/spilling ink and spawn.
And if cephalopods
don't turn you on
You're in the wrong sea baby,
Why you talking to me?
Where the hell did you go wrong?